Thursday, November 12, 2009

Hunter Ed for Wives

Fall hunting season opens this weekend and Big Buckaroo has loaded up the trailer and 4-Runner and hit the road with his dad. They are going to our land to "put the metal roof on the cabin" ~ man speak for going to work on the roof around hunting.

Although Big Buckaroo hunted some growing up, it was not until we bought our land last year that he started going hunting in his adult years. The past few months, there have been numerous hunting magazines and catalogs around and I am amazed at the amount of time he and his dad can sit and talk about a pair of binoculars. It rivals all the health care bill talk.

Even though I am from Mississippi and have 5 brothers, I did not grow up around hunters. We were a little more citified. So this is all new to me. I have no desire to go sit in the cold on a deer stand, but I am supporting my husband in this because he needs something to get him outside (aside of building a cabin himself, hmmm) and get his mind off work.

When Big Buckaroo starts talking about hunting, I really try and pay attention but sometimes my mind wanders off to more important things like I need to paint my toenails, polish my silver, plan dinner, dust the ceiling fans, you know those important things that do not involve the quest for venison.

I am having a really hard time remembering some of the hunting terms. I really try to use the appropriate word but it just doesn’t happen. In one ear and out the other, that’s me.

So, in an effort to help other women in the same duck boat as me, I have compiled a few important terms you need to know to communicate with your hunter man and sound like you know what you are talking about. It will endear (pun intended) him to you.

The Park Wife term: Bambi ---Hunting term: doe (just think of do-re-mi)
The Park Wife term: Baby Bambi ---------- Hunting term: Button Buck
The Park Wife term: Caught a deer ---------- Hunting term: Doe down
The Park Wife term: Grunt thingymajigger ----Hunting term: Grunt call
The Park Wife term: Rattler thingymajigger ------Hunting term: Rattling horns
The Park Wife term: Williams-Sonoma -----Hunting Term: Hot Spot
The Park Wife term: Gifted or endowed ----Hunting term: Big Rack
The Park Wife term: Woman with a gun--Hunting term: Huntress or Not The Park Wife

Now that you have learned hunt speak, you must lay down some ground rules. Here are mine:

1. You must call each night and check on your family (if we don't answer, we are eating out so I don't have to do dishes).
2. He must strip all his clothes off in the mudroom when he arrives home (don't get any ideas, he has been in the woods for a few days).
3.Go straight to the shower and shave off that beard and lather up good. Dress in clean clothes that are not camouflaged.
4. Come in the living room and kiss your wife and hug the Buckaroo's.

Then, as he goes to clean all his weapons and take care of all the meat he has brought home to feed his family, slip out the back door and go shopping or to a movie. All the clean-up takes a while.

Happy Hunting,
The Park Wife


Cindy said...

Hello, Parkee. I live on a park too and found your blog on PW. I have been having many deer adventures myself and look forward to reading more about your survival skills.

Tracie said...

This is great.....My husband loves to hunt (although he hasn't done it in the last couple of years) and I am totally lost about it.

Run Bambi!!!

Anonymous said...

I am with you- I am married to a hunting obsessed man. He left me for 10 days to go hunting and guess what-no cell service so no calls! Yeah! I know, right? Ridiculous! :)

OsageBluffquilter said...

You are so lucky to have seen PW in person and then see MM is even better.
Yes deer season starts for ust oo this evening in fact. For some reason I had to cook the "big pot" stuff for tonight.
Deer camp is rough, it's 2 miles from the house in a cute little cabin that has no electricity or running water.
Enjoy your weekend!

Brenda said...

I love your reference quide. It's hunting season over here too....but I don't even begin to act interested. Most of the guys I work with take the week off and I just tell them.... to leave Bambi alone... and they bark back...I'm not going to be looking for Bambi, just his dad. and I go.... eww.....thanks for sharing... please don't bring me anything back. Cuz they would if they knew how squimish it made me. I'd come in on Monday and there across my desk would be something groody.

inadvertent farmer said...

ROFL...I spit chocolate milk on baby boy's head who was sitting on my lap as I saw the Run Bambi Run!

No hunters here...hard to hunt when wifee is a vegan! I wouldn't mind if someone shot the camel though...on accident of course, lol!

Lisa said...

I have grown up with hunters in my life. We use every bit of the meat you gather regardless if it is bird, fish or deer. (rabbit, and squirrels too!) But I do not care for it myself. I want BEEF!!! I do have to laugh at you and your terms, thanks for the humor today.

Cynthia said...

Yeah, you got a plug on the PW site. That is great! Yeah we need to get together some time. How far away from Little Rock do yo live. Is the park nice?

Anonymous said...

tehehhe...You are too funny! Give all the Buckaroos a kiss for me! Love y'all!

upnorth said...

I know all the terms!! I do most of the cooking, but also I get most of my grandchildren for opening weekend! Good luck hunters!! Saw you on PW, I'm jealous, but in a good way!!