Friday, April 4, 2008

I Am the Strange one?

There have been a few things happen recently that have labeled me "the strange one" or our family is "different". I am completely baffled by this and I guess this might be a Park Wife venting post. So, hold onto your hats .

First Thing: Last year, we, along with a few other families we know well signed our 4-year-olds up for T-ball. Now, all of you parents of little ones out there pretty much know what 4-year-old T-ball is about, right? A little playing in the dirt, learning to hit the ball off the tee and running around the bases. Big Buckaroo was one of the assistant coaches (along with 2 other dads from the families we know well) and we went to the majority of the practices and maybe missed one or two games the whole summer. Little Buckaroo was not the best but DEFINITELY was not the worst player on the team, again, he was 4.

So, with traveling to and working on our land, plus some inconsistencies of our parenting styles with many of the parents of the other teams out there, we had not decided if we were going to sign Little Buckaroo up for 5 -year old T-ball. (Inconsistencies meaning that many felt that this is the World Series of 4-year-olds and we must scream and berate them because, of course, that motivates them to do better) Big Buckaroo always focused on the fun and learning of it and never made it about competition, um, I have found out that did us in. Now, remember that I played college soccer and Big Buckaroo has run marathons and played sports in high school so it is not that we are not an athletic family-- we know about competition.

Big Buckaroo asked one of the other dads from last year about T-ball this year and was informed that they had already signed up, picked teams and it was almost time for the first game. Now, the two dads from last year plus another dad got together and are coaching a team which means they did not let us know because evidently they did not want us to be a part of it. I was a little bothered by this but took it as that it made the decision for us to not play this year. I have recently found out that it was said that we were not very "committed" last year, so they just did not even mention it to us..

SecondThing -Little Buckaroo was not invited to a birthday party of one of the boys who we have known since we moved here until the last minute, we were not able to attend on such short notice. A token invite of sorts. The little boy is in school and has school friends now and being that Little Buckaroo is homeschooled he was just not at the top of the invitee list I guess. Little Buckaroo was oblivious to it and always will be, I, though am seeing a trend here.

Third Thing- I have cut back on some of my outside the home commitments to make sure that my priorities are right - God, Big Buckaroo, my kids and then other activities as long as the first three are being taken care of correctly. This has been hard for me because I am a VERY social person. I am getting a little bit of a brush-off from those that I had worked so closely on many activities with, is this real or perceived? I am not sure.

Now that I have vented, I feel better and now is time for perspective. Our family has been called to be different. We are building a heavenly marriage and working to raise stable, Godly children who have OUR worldview, not that of their peers who only seek self-gratification.

Many of you read my blog daily (about 150 on average, thanks everyone for coming by!) and know from my writings, my heart. This is not being haughty for those of you who don't know me.
The question that boggles me is "why are we the different ones?" I adore, cherish and love my husband and he does me too. Our children are well-behaved (most of the time, the training continues), they are a joy to be around. I not only love my boys but like them, enjoy them. I am a very blessed woman.

Do I get tired, down, hormonal, ummmmm, YES! But, when I wake up for my quiet time, I thank God for the privilege to be Big Buckaroo's wife and the Little Buckaroo's mom. Have I had to refocus at times, yes. It seems God always provides the right scripture, person, book, etc. at the time that I need it most. The key is having an open heart to receive His word.

So, as the years go by, I am going to be stranger and stranger to the world. And, I am getting alright with that, I am not totally there yet. God has given me 3 (Big and Little Buckaroos) talons and one day I will have to tell Him what I did with them.

Are you willing to step out and be the "strange" one?
The Park Wife

13 comments:

Sage said...

You have your priorities straight! It's always God, husband, children and family, and then the world. And I believe we are strange because we are in the minority! Isn't it sad when doing the right thing makes one strange or different? Remember, we are only in the world, not of the world. You are doing the right thing and raising your Buckaroos to be godly men. Let the world do and say what they may; you continue to do what is the right thing.

Blessings,
Marge

OKGardners said...

I hate to hear you sounding so down. Seems that our fellow Christians can hurt us worse than others, because we expect better treatment from them. Remember that the devil LOVES that you are conflicted by all of this!

You are a great Mom, Wife and Friend. Nothing hurts worse than having your kids left out or hurt. That is because you have a loving Mom's protective heart.

I'll pray that these circumstances get resolved in a Christian manner.

Remember that God loves you.

Betty

Amy said...

Are you looking in MY window,and writing about MY life??? LOL :)
You sound just like me! It hurts...
With that said, I know you will rise above this! You have your priorities in the right place! The friends you take away from this, are the friends you are meant to have!
Chin up! :)

Valarie said...

Its so hard, when you see that not everyone at church lives the same way as you. We were having a difficult time at a former church and we were thinking about moving. My Daddy told me that you go to Church to see Jesus, not to be accepted by others. It sounds like you are living the way you should and thats all that matters. If those people don't like the way you are, then they really aren't your friends and they need to probably look at their own priorities.
T-ball is a learning time. I have seen many a child not want to play anymore because of competitive parents.

Jan said...

This post brings me such JOY! You are the different because you are moving away from the worldly things and closer to God.

I'm a "different one" too (my whole family is) and I'd like to encourage you to seek out other "different ones" for fellowship. We have developed a close relationship with two other families at our school. All of us are active in the school and have other friends, but we are also excluded from certain events for reasons similar to your exclusions. As our children move up in the elementary school, we are all realizing it is such a blessing to be excluded because our children have solid relationships with each other and aren't drawn into the activities of the other children as easily. My husband coaches teams and that keeps our boys included in sports.

All the children from our three families are A students and great athletes - but they don't care about Hannah Montana and Guitar Hero or most of the movies the other children see. We parents don't drink. So, we are "different"

Hallelujah!

p.s. We are different at our church AND at our Christian school!!!

Mommy Lion said...

Don't quit or give up,
when struggles you face.
Those who keep trying
will finish the race.
"I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize."Philippians 3:14(ICB)
You have your eyes on the right prize - knowing what God has called YOU to do!
I pray I can stand as firm as you when our turn comes! love ya!

Anonymous said...

The only one you have to please is the One who created you! He convicted and called you to the BEST for your family. I have found that it makes people uncomfortable because they are sometimes ignoring the calling on their life!! All the judgements others make are really against themselves and not against you--whether they figure that out or not! Otherwise why would it bother them so much what you do!
Hang in there! You sound like you have your priorities just right.

kjh

Anonymous said...

The next thing you will be called is critical or judgemental. However, it is because you are doing what the Lord would have you do. They are responding to the light you are shining on them. Jesus said that, "if they hate you, they hated me first."

I do know how you feel about your children being left out. My boys had the same thing happen in our church. As you said about Little Buckaroo being oblivious, so were they. Just don't let him see your discontent, forgive the ones who did it, and do it immediatly for your sake and for your kids. You don't want them to foster bitter feelings.

Enough of that. You are glorifying God in your actions.
We all love you. I know you have people in your church who love your boys and you and your husband. So you have lots of support.
Keep your eyes on Jesus,
Deborah

OneCowgirl said...

Smile! You are not weird! Exclusion hurts no matter what - but really a four year old t-ball game should be about fun, learning, socializing, team spirit, cheering.....
Keep smiling - God loves you!

~*~ Jennifer ~*~ said...

Here -- I'll cheer you up a little. I was sitting in between my Mormon Aunt, and my Homosexual sister. We were chatting and my aunt asked me what church we went to. I said, "An independent fundamental Baptist church." Then my sister said, "Yeah -- she is the black sheep of the family."

Ha ha ha haaa!!

Sometimes it's good to be different. LOL

You are doing the right thing you know... Just be a little different, your reward in heaven will be great! =)

janet said...

Oh, yeah...I know about being called "the strange one" with the "different" sort of family! If that's what happens when my priorities are in line, SO BE IT!!

I love what you stated about becoming stranger and stranger to the outside world, as the years go by!! Amen!! I'm with you!

Thanks for this post!

Blessings,
Janet

Julie said...

Great post. If it matters, I'm "a strange one" too! In the end, it doesn't matter what the other people think- it matters what God thinks. It's hard being excluded, though. I know that. Have a great weekend!

Julie

klasieprof said...

With HOmeschooling we just become a different breed of cat.
We LIKE our kids, prefer to be with them over others, LAUGH at their jokes and don't look for every opportunity to DUMP them on to anyone else.
It brought our family closer together even when we put them back in a charter school.
WHO CARES about other people. Batton down your hatches, make some cookies and rejoice.