Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Identity Only Temporarily Lost

Mommy identity crisis over, for now. I am not promising that it will not happen again, and I am so relieved to know I am not the only one that goes through this. Thanks for your support and camaraderie!

I believe what precipitated this is that I was on Facebook and added some high school friends and let them know about my blog. Now, I believe my only high school friend that reads or even knows about my blog is BooMama and as her reader's know, she is an incredibly Godly woman who loves her family, friends, and, well Mississippi State athletics. So, even though she would probably not have a baby pig in her backyard, we are a lot alike.

But, then I wondered what other people would think of my life (um, the people pleaser in my kicked in) - living on a state park, growing and eating organic meat and vegetables, living sustainably, homeschooling my kids, you know, the list goes on.

I let unthankfulness (and ego) seep into my being. Now, I know that is crazy, I have a husband that not only loves me but also cherishes me, two little boys who are amazing and wonderful friends and family. I started focusing on the wrong things, not being thankful for the life that I have. Since I feel called—and blessed—to be home with my kids, I need to embrace that and rejoice in each of the areas in which I’m gifted and able to practice those gifts.

Thankful people have a view of life that begins somewhere deep in their souls, and outside circumstances just can't mar their joy. I want to be a thankful person.

By the way, after my whining about losing my creativity and success in the business world, I got a call from the international development organization I worked for before babies to quote on a freelance job on a huge grant proposal they are working on. I am overwhelmed by His grace in my life, I whine and He says, "I am here Park Wife, seek Me".

A thankful heart is the result of a person who decides to give thanks. Thank you, God, for my life, my incredibly blessed life.

The Park Wife


OKGardners said...

Thank God for my wise friend, Park Wife.

You are pleasing to your God, your husband, your sons, your true friends and anyone happily reading your blog. Don't worry about what others might think of your present life choices. They should all be so BLESSED as you. After all, who are you needing to please most? YOU are doing it all right.

Betty in Oklahoma

Lisa J said...

Three cheers for Betty in Ok, she is right. You are so truly blessed, and you have such a wonderful life. I would be so happy to call you friend, daughter, or sister. God is good.

Valarie said...

The last two post you have put up have helped me more than you know. I think its awesome that you have the life that you have. You are exactly where he wants you to be. I am trying to get there myself. :)

Sage said...

You had it right when you said you started focusing on the wrong things. I go there every once in awhile and when I remember to be thankful for the life I am living, I can put things back into perspective and get back on track. I think we all go through a crisis every once in awhile, so don't think you're alone in this!

I can tell you are a thankful person. Don't worry about other people and what they think. You're doing what is right, and you are living a blessed life.

And I ask more blessings on you!


Anonymous said...

Wow that is great news, & I'm glad that you are feeling more up.
You are so right that GOD does
hear our call for help. It's amazing how things work out.

Dee/reddirtramblings said...

Girl, we all feel that way sometimes. If we never lost our way, we'd be perfect wouldn't we? And only one person was perfect. I'm glad you got the grant proposal, BTW.~~Dee

Dawn said...

Thank you for your last two posts. You weren't alone, you were simply honest enough to share what most (dare I say "all?") moms experience at some points along the way. I believe that our God graciously allows us to have these days so that it is all the more apparent when our focus is regained.

Congrats on the proposal! I'm sure you'll do a knock out job!


Anonymous said...

I have moved from the "Great Northwest" to Alexandria, Va and am experiencing some of that Southern heat and humidity. As a result of the move I haven't had the internet for over a month and have missed reading your site.

I agree with these ladies, we all go down that road and look at what we "could be doing." But as you stated, "a thankful heart" is the most important thing to remember. The Lord does bless us even when we get the "I want something different" blues.

Blessings on your head. Hope to make it to the library to see you online again.

Darlene said...

I have yet to meet a woman who does not go through this. It doesn't matter if it's a woman working outside the home or a stay at home mom.

I love visiting your blog, I love seeing women get back to what is really important, God and family.
That's what I've tried to instill in my children, the importance of our Lord and family.

Looking forward to hearing about your job, your boys and that fab husband of yours. By writing about him you inspire your young readers not to settle for anything less.

God bless, my friend.

Lisa J said...

Oh man, I just went back through and read the comments, you sure have a great support group going there my friend. We are all right here for you. And you are such an example in how you are raising your children. I truly respect it, admire it, and pay honor to you. Like one other person stated, I am thankful you find it important to stay home with your children, to teach them, to instill values in them. You are doing a great job. And it is ok to question yourself once in a while. Follow your heart ok? You are doing great!

Anonymous said...

You are where you are supposed to be. It is all about the family and what you bring to the boys. Life is not as defined as a soccer field and keeping score.

You wouldn't want to share what you share with everyone otherwise.