I went and got my hair cut and colored yesterday. I usually color it myself because, well, I am cheap. But, there are times when you mess something up so bad and you need a little help fixing it. Yea, that happened to me. I won't go into the whole story, but just know it involved bleach and some leopard spots.
So, my nice, trendy hairdresser that I had just met (she saw dollar signs when she looked at my hair) started doing the obligatory salon get to know you routine: Who are you? What's your story? Do you wear animal prints to match the back of your hair?
I started to formulate in my mind "my story" and my heart started beating real fast. WHO AM I??? The Buckaroos were with me so it was obvious that I was a mom and a homeschool mom since Little Buckaroo is old enough to be in school. What should I tell her next? Oh no, I am not going to have a mom crisis, am I? I went through an identity crisis a few years ago where I felt "bored".
I was not bored like nothing to do, I was juggling a husband, kids, house, animals, garden, etc.? It was a different kind of bored, like my creativity was dwindling, that I needed something new and different. I even thought about applying for The Next Food Network Star, but they would not let me use my smoke detector food timer.
I missed, and still do at times, the excitement of working in public relations. The travel, the social aspect, and the accomplishment of completing a job successfully. I identified myself for so long by my job and how well I did my job. And, the fact that society deems that as what is important is why I get antsy when people want to know "who I am".
My heart rate got back to normal pretty quick because I have figured out how to avert the identity crisis, intentional thankfulness. I am so blessed. I have an extraordinary husband and smart, healthy boys, a loving family, and friends that I adore. This is a wonderful season in my life, exactly where I am supposed to be. And, I could not ask for more.
Oh, by the way, right after my trendy hairdresser asked me about myself and I had my whole "oh my, who am I" flash, she said, "wait, aren't you Big Buckaroo's wife? I worked in the park gift shop right before I got married."
With a twinkle in my eye, I said "yes, I am. I am Big Buckaroos wife." And felt completely at ease and proud that that is who I am.
Big Buckaroo's wife,
The Park Wife