I try to always be upbeat in life.. and on my blog.
However, I am human, I do feel down at times. Shocker, I know, um, I am a woman. So, in an effort to keep it real, I have decided to talk about something that has been on my mind, heart, um, hormones lately.
I have been going through an identity crisis off and on for a while. At times, I feel bored. Is it possible to be bored when you have a husband, kids, house, animals, church projects, etc. all depending on you? It is a different kind of bored, like my creativity is dwindling, that I need something new and different. Maybe I should apply for The Next Food Network Star, do you think they will let me use my smoke detector food timer?
Now, I know that I am doing exactly what I have been called to do, to be the wife of Big Buckaroo, the mom of my precious Little Buckaroo’s, our Family Manger, housekeeper, purchasing agent, teacher, well, the list goes on. But, I sometimes miss the excitement, travel, and accomplishment of working in Public Relations. I had worked real hard to get to the position where I was doing what I liked and doing it well. Deciding to become a stay-at-home mom was not a hard decision for me, and it has been the most rewarding thing I have done in my life. I would make the same choice every time if given the opportunity. So, sometimes I feel selfish for feeling this way. Can I hear a big “mom guilt”?
I identified myself for so long by my job and how well I did my job. I think at times I feel like I am not enough, I think many moms, working outside the home and at home feel this way. Mom guilt, yep, mom guilt.
I miss the spontaneous, ambitious, fairly intelligent woman I used to be. Now, of course, my wonderful husband thinks this is crazy, he is so wonderful at being supportive, understanding, lifting me up and mostly thankful for me taking care of our precious gifts. I know this is sickening people, but my husband is just incredible.
So, as I go through my perpetual identity crisis, I seek ways to quench my creative thirst, trying to identify my natural qualities and appreciate them as gifts. And, I will use my gifts in doing what I have been called to do and with a good attitude (I am convincing myself here).
Do any of you guys ever feel this way or am I a resident on identity crisis mom planet alone?